You may have already made them or you might make them today. New year’s resolutions. You will probably regret making them sometime within the next week or two. There will be lashings of guilt and outpourings of frustration. Fortunes will be spent on pointless Gym memberships. Garages will be filled with unused gym equipment. Your fat will miraculously, stubbornly stay right where it is. You will not suddenly become more outgoing or sociable or develop a personality.

So, in the interests of mental health this season. MacDoctor brings you this guide as a public health initiative.

1. Do not make a New Year’s resolution.
2. See rule 1.
3. What! You still here? What’s wrong with you? JUST SAY NO!
4. Okay, okay, if you must make New Year’s Resolutions…
5. Make only ONE resolution. The only people who can successfully keep more than one resolution are those weirdos with day-planners, especially those cult ones. You know who you are.
6. Make it achievable. “30kg in 30 days” is wishful thinking. “I will be slim and beautiful” is not only not achievable but vague enough to be embarrassing. so-
7. Make it specific. Put numbers to it. Realistic numbers. You are not going to be a millionaire by mid August working for MacDonalds. Not legally anyway.
8. Start today. Virtue has a half-life of 24 hours. Tomorrow you will only be 50% likely to start. By Saturday 25%, Sunday 12.5%. You get the picture. Starting in March is about as likely as winning Lotto. Go to it.
9. What’s with all this New Year stuff anyway? Why spoil a perfectly good New Year with a steely eyed determination to do something with your life? Chill out, relax. Start on Monday.
10. See rule 1.

Macdoctor wishes all his readers a very

Happy New Year.

Related posts: