Not Children
I see that Karen Aim’s Killer was a 14 year old boy at the time of her murder. I have been thinking about how a 14 year old could do such a heinous deed. How could a 12 year old like Bailey Kauriki help kill Michael Choy? How could two 15 year old girls murder an old man? The answer is obvious.
These are not children.
When I was 14, I was interested in Astronomy and the opposite sex. Because I was a geek, I liked galaxies more than girls. I could have no more killed a person than travelled to another galaxy. I was still a child. There were a couple of 16-year-olds who I knew slightly who were members of a local gang. They were unruly, got drunk, smoked and occasionally smashed windows. They did not murder people either. They were probably still children as well.
But these are not children.
These callous murderers who kill without remorse are the product of a system that pummels them with an adult world and adult viewpoints 24/7. And I am not talking about “adult” in the sense of “adult” porn stores. I mean how adults feel, how they think, how they react. It screams at them from all media, from the movies they watch and the music videos they see. It shouts at them from the stores in the mall. Schools treat them like small adults. Even their parents fail to hide their adult arguments and adult games.
Adulthood is thrust upon them but they are not given the tools to handle it.
They are told that an adult can do anything s/he wants. But they are not shown the boundaries that keep us from the precipice. Instead of accountability, they develop nihilism.
They are told that adult can have anything s/he wants. But they are not shown that it takes much work and sacrifice. Instead of ambition, they develop entitlement.
They are told that an adult can be anything s/he wants. But they are not shown how to develop character . Instead of empathy, they develop narcissism.
These are not children. But they are not adults either.
Soon they find that they can’t do anything that they want. Their nihilism engenders apathy.
They find that they can’t have anything that they want. Their sense of entitlement makes them take, makes them steal.
They find that they can’t be anything that they want. Their narcissism drives them to anger.
Then they are told the biggest lie of all – the original lie from Eden.
Your Actions have no consequences – You can get away with it.
Then they plunge, like lemmings, over the edge.
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Feb 7 09 8:34 am
Excellent Post MacDoctor.
Feb 7 09 10:56 am
To put it bluntly, such people have no soul. They have not been inculcated with the grand sweep of what it means to be human, and what humans can achieve in almost any endeavor, and because of that they can’t externalise love, hope, fear, time and consequences.. they can only live within their own skins and immediate gratification.
It always surprises me that so many can’t see the absolute need to create within the child the concept of the little angle on the shoulder.. the thing that comes from within but which independently monitors behavour, tells one that this is good and that is bad and is capable of looking ahead to consequences.
JC
Feb 7 09 12:05 pm
Spare the philosophy people….
Most child killers grew up from a very early age surrounded by violence. I dont mean solely towards them, but violence in general..
Karen Aims killer from a very early age was conditioned to think that violence is the way to get what you want, he has seen his father, his brothers, uncles, cousins and their mates give people ‘the bash’ or stand over them to get what they want…money, drugs, sex….and so he started doing it…and there you go…
I am not excusing his actions, by any means, I am saying the violence is in his blood and that is all he knows.
Its simple really….
Feb 7 09 2:09 pm
Spare the philosophy? Oh yes, God forbid that we examine the root causes of these maladapted misanthropes.
Feb 7 09 5:47 pm
Trouble is that the conclustion that people like you draw is that he should have been given more hidings as a kid, or that he was able to access universal healthcare, or that his mother had a secure home and didnt fear being put out on thr street
Feb 7 09 6:27 pm
Millsy: I am saying the violence is in his blood and that is all he knows.
I await your explanation of why someone can be brought up with the same violence and yet be a gentle, loving person. Is this because the violence did not get into their blood? It’s an interesting theory, Millsy. but I think it is unlikely that violence is a sexually transmitted disease.
Surely even you can see that violence is a symptom, rather than a cause? Dysfunctional relationships are endemic in our society. Although there are many causes for this, I am convinced that the destruction of childhood is the primary cause of our recent epidemic of young murderers.
Correcting this requires nothing less than a change of direction for society as a whole. Your simplistic argument that violence is the sole factor would suggest that throwing all the violent offenders in jail will solve all our problems. This is highly unlikely.
Feb 8 09 7:37 am
I think you’re onto something Doc, but they’re not adults because “They are told that adult can have anything s/he wants.” In my view they’re adults simply because their parents failed to be parents, these people are usually from poor families, so have never learned they can have whatever they want, rather they have learned that the way to get what they need is to avoid and ignore authority, and to break the rules when they can, they have learnt that authority is unreliable and inconsistent and as a result they’ve gone ferrel.
Cut kids loose to fend for themselves, (in some parts of the world this has been done by slaughtering their parents), and they’ll turn to Fagin’s and other low lifes for care and guidance in how to survive and get ahead.
Feb 8 09 8:13 am
Andrew: In my view they’re adults simply because their parents failed to be parents
This is a chicken/egg situation. Are children becoming adults too early because their parents fail at parenting, or do parents fail at parenting because their children become “adults” too early. I see this as a self-reinforcing loop.
Children are increasingly treated as adults by society and the media. Parents become confused and try to respond to their children as adults, reinforcing the “adultisation”. The relationship between a child and a parent and an adult child and a parent are very different. The former is formative while the latter is advisory. It is the ceasing of the formative interaction that is so damaging.
I don’t see this as a low-income group problem. I think this is across the board. The only difference is that low-income adult/children have far fewer opportunities than higher income children. Coupled with their lack of ambition, sense of entitlement and fundamental nihilism, it is not really surprising that poor families produce so many child killers.
Feb 8 09 9:31 am
Young delinquents isn’t a recent phenomenon, even young delinquent killers have been around for thousands of years. I accept that the increase in power (rights) without responsibility bestowed up on todays youth is a problem, and does lead to poor discipline, laziness and unrealistic expectations, but I don’t see this as a major factor in turning young people into young killers.
You do inadvertently raise an interesting point with: “Are children becoming adults too early” this immediately got me thinking about how teens are reaching puberty earlier – because of richer diets – and wondering how much this is leading to them having more adult attitudes at a younger age.
If we’re asking why society has less interest in maintaining stricter moral codes on its youth than it used to, I’ve addressed this in the past and attribute it to the greater wealth Western society has. A poor society dealing with hardship needs to keep discipline tight to keep its population fed, greater wealth leads to a lack of incentive to maintain that disipline which in turn results in waste and “decadence” (as some Muslims point out), but not, in my view, young killers.
Feb 8 09 6:00 pm
Andrew W:
Yes, the link between wealth and moral decay is clearly seen in the fall of all of the classical civilisations (Greek, Roman, Mesopotamian).
And, yes, there have always been murderous children. The thing that had me thinking about adultisation of children is the sheer frequency with which we now see them.
Farming children have often been given adult responsibilities at a very early age. These children seem to cope well with adult responsibilities precisely because they are limited and defined. They are not expected to become adults – they remain children with a list of adult chores to do. It is this becoming that is turning our children into childish adults.