Inhale for the Planet.

Amidst much fanfare today, the Co-leader of the Green Party, Jeanette Fitzsimons announced a new initiative to create awareness about Global Warming. Dubbed “Inhale for the Planet”, Fitzsimonds said that the idea was that the whole world should unite in breathing in Mother Nature’s bountiful atmosphere, in appreciation of Gaia.

“It will be a symbol of hope and unity across the globe. We all rely so much on this wonderful planet, yet our carbon emissions are killing her.” Fitzsimons said. “We are going to reduce our carbon dioxide emissions across the planet, at the stroke of midnight.”

Inhale for the Planet is scheduled for midnight Greenwich Mean Time on 1st May this year. At the stroke of midnight, every person on the planet will take in a deep breath and hold it for an hour.

Some have pointed out that this actually not possible. Fitzsimons referred to them yesterday as “Inhalation deniers”.

“All we are asking for is a mere hour of reduced carbon emissions.” She retorted, angrily. “Is that too much to give back to the planet?”

There was a brisk trade in carbon credits soon after the announcement, as it was indicated that a sufficient number of credits would be a suitable replacement for holding one’s breath for an hour. Inhalation deniers observed that stock on Fitzsimons six carbon credit exchange companies were doing extremely well. Fitzsimons denied any link, saying that carbon credits were the future of the Earth and she had a right to invest in things she believed in.

Some scientists voiced concern that six billion people breathing in at the same time may cause a vacuum to form on the planet. They warned that everyone’s brains may be sucked out of their noses by the vacuum.

Inhalation deniers remarked that this may be an improvement.

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